Remember when.......

Remember when........


For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to be a mom and wife.  Growing up, even though there were a few things I wanted to be when I grew up... I knew it would never last.  My ultimate goal, was to get married and start a family...

That is EXACTLY what I did.    I went through several different things growing up.  I wanted to be an olympic gymnast. I wanted to be a physical therapist.  I wanted to be a school teacher.    I never, that I can remember, wanted to be an astronaut, or anything like that. 

I ALWAYS wanted to be the cool mom, the mom who had fresh baked warm brownies or cookies sitting on the counter when the kids came home from school.   The house where ALL the kids wanted to hang out.
So...WHAT HAPPENED?  Well, I did meet the man of my dreams and get married and start a family..
But, my goals are NOT to be the cool mom on the block where all the kids want to hang out.  In fact, I don't know why, but I really don't LIKE having a bunch of kids over at my house.  What if someone gets hurt? among other things that go through my mind....
I've only had brownies on the counter a couple of times... (and they were made the night before).

Life happened, thats what.  I just cant seem to get motivated to cook those afternoon brownies...or Im too tired, or time slipped away... 

Some parts of me still wants to be that person... The person like my mom was when I was little. The mom who had so much patience, and cleaned all day long, everyday..had cookies on the counter, didnt mind having all mine and my brothers friends over.... her house was spotless (still is).

3 kids  later and still have no clue how to be a mom like my mom was/is. 

So how does a mom, who has small kids, or kids varying in age, get everything done, laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, and STILL have time to make those brownies for when her kids get home from school?
How does one learn to deal with it, and expand her patience?  How does one get OVER the fact that she doesnt really want a bunch of kids at her house and LET her kids be kids and enjoy having their friends over?

How How How How.....?