Not enough?

Ever get the feeling that you're not doing enough?  Your not good enough?  Your not crafty enough?
When is enough, in fact, enough?

I feel this way a gazillion times a day.  Growing up, my mother kept the house spotless. When I mean spotless, I'm serious. White Glove Approval. She was the ideal, stay at home mom.  She was up before all of us each morning.  Normally we had a hot breakfast, unless we chose cereal.  Many times we we got home from school, there would be cookies, brownies or something else she had made as an afternoon snack.  She drove us to all of our sports practices until we were old enough to drive ourselves. (And there were a lot).
I remember my mom driving me to my much anticipated gymnastics practice 3x a week and during that same time she would be dropping my older brother off at Karate and my other brother had to be across town for Piano Lessons.
As we got older, we all did a multiples of sports. My brothers did track, soccer, golf, wrestling, and I did gymnatics, tennis, track, golf.  I bet when I got my liscense, she was able to rest..but nope, She still drove out out to my tennis matches, and drove me and the other tennis girls to our matches across town, out of town, etc.   I always wonder if she felt the way I do now..and my kids are are still little.  I never remember hearing her complain, unless we were all fighting.
I wish I could be like that.  When I think of the Proverbs 31 woman, I always think of my mom.  She was up early, stayed up late, drove us around everywhere, Made sure we ate healthy, had our proper checkups at the doctor, made sure my father was highly respected. As we got older she started a small business on the side which kept her busy until after I married. Today, she teaches Children in the Church preschool department on Sundays, and also helps out my father around his business.  

I wish on many days I could be half of what she is.  I wish I loved to clean (or even liked to clean) a fraction as much as she did.  I wish that I didn't feel burdened to take my kids to all their practices. ( I don't always, I actually enjoy it but some days, I feel really stressed).  I wish I could have my kids respect me, the way I know me and my brothers respected my parents.    It's bitter sweet.

I often wonder if even though my mom always has gone beyond the call of duty, if she ever felt like she didn't do enough?  In my opinion she did too much.  She didn't have to keep the house extra spotless. She could have put her foot down and said that we were involved in to many sports.. But she never did.
She wanted to have a clean house to show respect to my father who worked many long hours. She wanted him to come home to a clean house with hot food ready to be eaten.
She wanted us involved in any extra curriculuar activity that we wanted because it was "good for us". It taught us responsibility, disipline, and how to be on a team.  In her words "Your kids are only young for a small amount of time, let them be kids, enjoy it."  While it seems like that "short amount of time" that they are kids is going by so small, I quickly realize my own oldest turns 10 in a few months, and I have not been NEAR the mother he has needed.
Maybe I've been to busy doing what "I" think it important instead of thinking about "what would be good for my kids".    They get to do a lot.  We take a multitude of family vacations, and yeah, I'll admit it.. Those three kids are pretty spoiled.-But is it enough?  Have I been showing them the love of God?  Have I been a good example to them?  Am I setting a good example to them?
There have been many times where they've walked in the room to me reading my Bible or a devotion, but its not a habit for them.  I use to get up early to have a few minutes with my GOD alone before I got them up for school, but then I realized really quickly, that I needed those extra few minutes of sleep. (I'm a certified GROUCH) if I don't get sleep.  But am I putting God on the back burner? Yep. I mean, seriously, how can i set a good example and teach my own children about putting God first if I don't even want to give up a few minutes of sleep for him.?  Hypocrite much?  Yep.
That's why I am doing what I can to slowly change.   Trying my hardest to watch what I say.  Taking a deep breath when I start getting agitated.  Slow changes.....

Who I am hates who I've been.-

Is your BFF Jesus?

Of course it's Easy to say "Jesus is my BFF? because in truth, he's always there for us, even if we don't realize it.  But is he truly your BFF.  Do you put everything or other things in front of it?
I was reading through today's mother/daughter devotional that I bought last year when we attended the Secret Keeper Girl tour that came to town. (Excellent, highly recommended if you have a tween/teen daughter).

The Disciple John had a Bff. His name was Jesus.  For Jesus to live as a human in the world, John knew it was a really really big deal. He respected and honored Jesus' position. For Jesus to be such close friends with John was a wonderful and great privilege
Did you  know that the book of John in the bible was written by none other than JOHN himself.  Did you also know that in the book of John it mentioned "The disciple that loved Jesus". In today's world some would consider that a little conceited. Writing a book about you being the ONE who loved Jesus.?  .
But can you just imagine the closeness of the relationship between Jesus and any of his disciples?  They actually got to SEE Jesus, walking, talking and doing things with People. and they JOINED Him on his journeys. In John 13:21-26 you can see that John was actually leaning in close to Jesus.  Can you imagine being so CLOSE to Jesus that You could actually feel his heartbeat!  Imagine that!

When John called himself the "disciple who loved Jesus". He was not merely bragging.  He wasn't bragging like "Hey World. LOOK WHO IM FRIENDS WITH?"  No, he was merely showing the world that Jesus LOVED Him.  A human. He actually LOVES him!and guess what. He loves you and me too!

In John 19:26, it describes Jesus on the Cross just before his death.  Jesus looked down at Mary (his mother) and his wonderful friend, John. He tells his mom and John to take care of each other.  Jesus must have thought a TON of John, to trust him to be like a son to Mary.

Have you ever been around someone that has made you feel like the most important person in the Universe? Don't you think that is how Jesus made John feel?  When John was in the presence of Jesus, he was consumed by a big love. The Love of  a Savior.

Wouldnt that be awesome to feel that kind of love? Do you ever feel it?  I think there are times in my life where I can feel the presense of something much more powerful than what is normal, but those times are few and far between in my personal case.  But I'm trying to put more and more and ALL my trust in Jesus.

Just today, I was reading about some friends of mine who are Missionaries, going into the JUNGLE. They moved to a foreign country and just had their second child.  They are on a journey that I couldn't imagine having that type of Trust in Jesus.  Here they and their kids are going into areas where the Gospel of Christ hasn't been heard of...and they are teaching the local Tribes about Jesus Christ and his Love for us and during this process they are seeing with their OWN eyes, the Miracles of God.  Local tribesmen are becoming CHRISTIANS, and are forming that one on one personal relationship with Christ and they are going back to their houses and preaching it.  They have this excitement in their eyes. A true Happiness...

In my own house, can I honestly say the same about my own children who have been in church since they were born?   I wish they had that kind of excitement for our Savior, but are they just not as excited because my own light has become dull in this crazy, not obsessed about Our Lord and Savior world?
I want my light back and its becoming harder and harder to grasp it, but I'm trying...

I want my best friend to be Jesus.  Do you?

Are we sure this isn't Monday...

It sure feels like a Monday. A cold, non fun Monday..Yep! That is exactly what it feels like. I'm trying not to get the Monday Blues, since it's Tuesday..But its not helping. This morning has started off much like other mornings, with a little extra oomph added to it. Not the good oomph..that bad oomph.
For ex.  While getting ready for school, my son drags his backpack into the living room and plops it down and then sits next to it.  While getting up to head out to the bus he realized the top came off his water bottle and has spilt EVERYWHERE. Now his bag, and pants are SOAKED.. Seriously, they had about 2 minutes to get out to the bus. So he heads to change, comes back mismatched and has to change again.
I'm hurrying him out the door, into the freezing 20 degree weather, with shoe laces untied right as the bus is pulling up... Yelling "tie your shoes, tie your shoes"... Poor Kid. His day didn't start off so well. Which means mine so far hasn't started off so well.  I'm praying a prayer for him to have a better day as I type this, because let's face it. Sometimes we NEED an extra prayer in for us.  I could have handled it better, but at the moment, ALL i could see if him missing the bus, me having to quickly get dressed, get the sleeping toddler up (not fun) and then take him to school... Thankfully, and only  by God's Mercy, the bus was an extra minute later than normally or he would have missed it.
Kalli had a decent morning though, except she is in this stage now where one tiny flyaway of her hair, will ruin her entire day.  When I was her age, I'd just throw my hair in a ponytail and head out the door. I don't remember caring to much about my hair...but that's where she and I differ.  Where I was an avid gymnast who lived in pony tails and gymnastic leotards a t shirt and workout pants, she's a dancer who always wants to be glammed out in jewelry, fixed hair, flashy shirts (like seriously, glitter, lacey, etc) and decent looking jeans. Don't forger her ever so fashionable sparkly, glittery, light flashing twinkle toes.

Somedays I'm not sure if I can handle the teen age years that are up ahead. The beginning of the tween years has been yard enough.. (Sign...)

There is a verse that My son had to learn for awana the other night that I have challenged him too. Great thing about Awana, is that while they are learning the verses..They have the meaning to several of the words in the verse so you can study them more.
This is my challenge verse for him (if you have a child who is always wanting to be first, everywhere, and constanly trying to get attention my impressing others, then this is a great verse.

Phillipians 2:3

Let nothing be done through Selfish Ambition or conceit.
But in lowliness of mind. Let each esteem others better than himself.

(Selfish Ambition=wanting to be first)
(Conceit= being self centered, trying to impress others)
(Lowliness of mind=putting others before you)
(Esteem=consider)

When you replace the words with the meanings, it helps children understand it better

Let nothing be done through wanting to be first, or by trying to impress others.
Always put others before you and consider then before yourself.  (This helped a lot)

Another verse we've been encouraging him to study harder this week is

1 Tim 4:12

Let no one despise your youth,
But be an example to the believers,
In word, conduct, in love, in spirit, in Faith and in Purity.

Despise=look down on
Conduct=behavior
Believers= those who have trusted Christ as their Savior. Christians

"Let no one look down on you because you are young.
Instead, be an example to other Christians , by the way you speak, the way you behave, the way you love, your spirit, your Faith and your purity."

See..Word studies help out a lot!

I hope you all have a great day.... let's get through this Tuesday..Tomorrow is the halfway mark! Woohoo!

God KNOWS!

To say this morning has started out successfully would be a severe understatement.  I didn't want to get out of bed. It rained all night. The wind howled and I didn't sleep good.
Kalli, got up fairly easy, no problems there (surprise..she is not normally a happy morning person), but Jaden...well..He didn't get up so easy.. First, he had forgotten to bring his clean clothes upstairs and put them away, which mean he had to half dress and walk downstairs in his pj's and finish getting ready in the guest bathroom.   Then he realized he had forgotten to do his script for his anchor position with the school's broadcast team.  It's due the day before he goes on air, but he'll have to turn that in, the day of....AGAIN.  I reminded him about this on Friday, I mentioned it on Saturday and I'm pretty sure I mentioned it yesterday as well.    Usually, I would sit down at the computer, and do it for him..but I've decided that, as a parent.. I must teach him responsibility. He is the one who wanted to do this position. He tried out for the position and He goes to the meetings for it. Not me.  While I want him to be successful in school. It will NOT happen if I am always coming to the rescue and doing his work for him.  He is a smart, and intelligent child, he CAN do this....its just going to take some time for him to realize he has responsibilities.

So this morning didn't go so well..  As Kalli and I sat down to do our devotion this morning, He didn't want to be involved. Although, its a one year Devo book for MOMs/Daughters, I've always tried to change it up a bit to include him. It hasnt been so hard, since it deals with tweens/teens , its not hard to adjust some of it to where he can be involved.  Normally we read a bible story from another book, and then continue with a devotion.

Todays devotion hit home. It was on feeling "Blue" and the various ways people can praise God while they are feeling this way.  It went on to talk about how this one young lady, gets her guitar and plays worship songs, while another will paint.  
It was based on the verse Ps.121:1-2 "I look up to the mountains-does my help come from there? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. 
I told Kalli, that this was also in a song..She knew exactly which one it was, so we pulled it up on the computer and both of us started singing "Praise you in this Storm" by Casting Crowns.  I immediately felt better about my morning with Jaden and asked him if he understood the devotion and different things he could do when he felt upset, angry, or sad.  He wouldn't talk, as he was still in a grouchy mood, so Kalli answered. She loves to sing and is always making up songs...

Then , after they left for school. I saw a post on facebook by a good friend of mine about Praying for our sons.
Which led me to a website called Warrior Prayers...Which I noticed had now become "The Mob Society"-For moms of boys, by moms of boys.  I saw they had a book of Warrior Prayers to pray for your boys and many other great things.  Raising them in God's word, etc.  
It was JUST what I needed today.  In light of everything, I want my son to grow up loving God and knowing that he is a GOOD child... We talked about that this morning and how he can change the way his day starts, all by changing his attitude.  I Hope he understood...... The last thing I want is an argument or something at home, to cause him problems at school...today or any day...

But the title of my post "God Knows".... God knew what was going to go down this morning in our household. That is why the devotion we did today was based on Turning to him when we are "down" "Blue" "Angry".  That is why he put the Casting Songs Crown answer in Kalli's head, that is also why he had me go to those websites.... HE KNEW!  He knew what was going on in my head, in my home, and with our family.

My book is on KINDLE!

Yay! My book is finally out on Kindle!!!  It was published years back, but I finally was able to publish it on Kindle!!! I'm so excited!

Temporary Route: Trouble Along the way
$2.99 on Kindle Download.
If you download it PLEASE leave me a review!
I am in the process of writing book 2 in the series now.

Happy New Year

 Happy New year! It's been a really busy year!! I am so sorry I have no updated in what seems like forever.!
I've been running races, doing Advocare and have also designed an entire new line of clothes for girls.
It's called Kalli+Alba.  It's a modest and FUN line for girls.  The Bridal Line is still going strong too!

This past summer my husband and I celebrated 10 years of marriage and we had a vow renewal at the beach! IT was so much fun and such a special time in our lives. A few pics below!


I am loving everything new that has been coming our way, and I am going to show you some new pictures from the past year!!!

In the post below, you can see a picture from this past summer of our Vow Renewal.
We still love to make all the vintage inspired gowns as well!

Vintage Lace Beach Bride gown with Cathedral Lace Train

 The "Alba" Flower Girl Gowns

 The "Emma" Short Empire Waist Gown"

 A beautiful Tulle Bridal Skirt

The Sunset Bride Gown

Another view of the Sunset Bride Gown

Sunset Bride Gown

 Sunset Bride Gown

 This is one of my fave shots of the sunset bride gown

SPring photo shoot of our girls clothing line : Kalli+Alba

Kalli+Alba pajama

Vintage inspired beautiful flower girls gowns "Kalli" Style

The ribbon corset back of the Kalli gown, the smallest girl is wearing the "Emma" gown.

These two beautiful girls are wearing the Amalie (youngest girl, empire waist gown) the oldest girl is wearing the"Ariana"  This has several different colors of layered tulle.

This gown is a white gown with Crimson Ribbon and Corset/Lace. This is the "Kalli" Style gown in different colors.